Heart of Steel

4/16/2019


I think a lot of people have anxiety and I am no exception.

Over the years, my anxiety has worsened and you can see it in the shake in my voice and trembling hands. Sometimes, it gets too overwhelming, I do not attend events because of it especially when I cannot bring a +1 or I am not sure if anyone I know would be there.

But my anxiety is only before an event. As soon as I get there and meet people I know or have people who know me come say hi to me, all my anxiety goes away. Or if I was to talk in front of a crowd, the moment I start, I can feel my anxiety leave me and my confidence shows through.

But when it comes to relationships (anxiety related to human), I handle my anxiety very differently.

"And I begged my heart to slow down its beating against the walls of my chest. I couldn't breathe.

Wide-eyed and nervous chatter. And I was nine all over again."


So before I do something crazy, I would call up a friend and calm down. My best friends are amazing because they know me so well. That when I just need to breathe and hear their voice to even out my heartbeat, they are forever willing to be there for me. They never berate me and call me out for what I really am; an idiot.

"I let the feelings flow through my veins, and, oh, how they hit me like a ton of bricks, behind your backs.

And I watch the possibilities play in front of my eyes.

So I smile bright and laugh it off.

When in my mind, I've killed you a hundred times."

How do you handle your anxiety? Or do you not have any?

Love,
Sya.

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