#syadhilwedding FAQ : How to Convince Your Parents You are Ready for Marriage?

1/17/2015

This is a question that have been posed to me numerous times before. I have failed to answer the question because I really don't know.

So then, how did we end up getting married at 20?

Let's be honest here. It was never a plan. I mean, the timing of marriage was never planned. We have been a couple since 2011 and we went with the flow.

By 2012, we were already talking about marriage and we took it seriously.

No. We did not immediately tell our parents that we want to get married. Because that's not something you should do straight away at 18. Instead, we worked on ourselves. And our relationships. With each other and our families.

I think the point in which I could regard my mother as a best friend was my turning point. I was able to open up to her and understand her in ways I couldn't before. So, at 19, I had already talked to her about the possibility of marriage, pretty soon. 

My point is this: Marriage is not about you and your partner. It's about the family. It really is. You marry the family. Trust me. I know.

So basically, what I did when we began our relationship was introduce him to my sister, my medical student sister, Syuhada, who people sometimes think is my twin. She is my best friend and the ultimate test. If she doesn't like you, then I don't like you. Lucky for the Husband, she gave him the thumbs up.

Then, there was my brother. Who jumped on the chance to play basketball in Bangsar with the Thunder Buddies and basketball-ers. So that was an easy win.

Of course, my parents had to meet him at one point. Basically, he just appeared everywhere from sending me to see them or picking me up to go back to college. So subtle. Lol. And they got the idea.

My mum was so kind and sweet she invited him over for dinner with my family (grandparents, uncle auntie and cousin included). Pressure, eh? But it was good. It felt good. Like, we were adults. Yes, legally, at the age, we were already adults. That's not the point.

Anyway, what happened was really just that gradually, my family had opened up to him joining the family. And gradually, I became more responsible or wiser in life.

To me, the point in which you are ready to be married is when you can understand your parents and their reasons for everything they do. And you don't need to tell them that you are ready for marriage because at that point, they would already know.

At which point, the better question is when do you know that you are ready for marriage?

There's no secret to it: When you know, you'll know.

I'm not joking. I really am not. Life happens on its own. And you're gonna wake up one day and say, "We're getting married," without a single doubt in you.

Hope that helps.
xoxo,
Sya.

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1 comments

  1. I knew your husband from MSLS, he was my teammate that time. I never met you, but I am glad he is married to a very beautiful wife here :) And your husband probably did not remember me either, cause we were teammates only for a session. Just dropping by to say,you're so beautiful and this post helps me since I am getting married. Okay not at 20, later on. Bye beautiful Sya!

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